long time no blog
jz feel like dropping by and type a word or two..

i noticed i hav changed alot lately
i hav change to become somebody tat i dun really like myself
often feeling down and moody
often "fatt pei hei" oso…
wanna find someone out to chat chat sometimes
but best fren went to johor to study dy
feel bored when she is not around
not tat i dun hav other frenz
but it jz feel like smthing is missing without her around

lately, i feel like a useless person standing in the middle of no where
aimless…..
used to be a very happy person
i missed the time back then
back when i hav no worries during high skul
back when i only concentrate on my taekwondo training to win
back when i hav alot of frenz around me all the time…

used to hav tons and tons of frenz
most of them are my high skul frenz and also taekwondo frenz
my high skul frenz stil rock
they are (and alwaz will be) my best frenz ever
as for taekwondo frenz…
now i feel tat the only person who care for me in taekwondo is my sir yi liang
as for others..dont think they care much about me anymore
i’m jz a nobody there
alwaz an assistant instructor only
not like ‘him’, so important in the class
they jz dont really care for me anymore (or maybe they never did cared for me before? hmmm…aiyah wat ever la…)
y? izit my problem? i dunno
maybe becuz i’ve changed and they dont like who i am now

i feel tat i am starting to lose interest to taekwondo
it’s unbelievable i feel that way..
becuz taekwondo is already a part of me
i can never live my life without taekwondo
i can never hate taekwondo, and will never be
but..somehow i’m starting to lose interest to it
maybe one of the reason is becuz of the problem i’ve mentioned above
plus, i’m not improving in my training lately…
i hav no aim for training in tkd now
not since i came back from sukma kedah
now i dunno wat am i training for
although there are still tournaments coming up
but i jz dun hav the fire to train for it
not like i used to train before sukma
somebody once told me: "no aim, no gain."
guess tat is y i’m not improving
hmmm..am listening to Daniel Powter’s song - "bad day" now
there is one line of lyric tat is actually very suitable to use here
"where is the passion when u need it the most?"
passion….is wat i dun have now……
seems like everybody is improving and i’m the only one marching on the same spot, not improving an inch..
juniors are all gaining up on me…

aimless + my old knee injury + team mates tat doesnt really care much for me now had made my passion towards taekwondo dropped dracastically…
alwaz feel lazy to go for training now
during training oso alwaz ambil kesempatan to curi ayam 1
"then stop taekwondo lah" is wat some of the ppl who said to me
but i stil dun wanna quit yet..
i dun wanna let my sir down
he teached and helped me alot and i know he has high hopes on me
so i must not let him down
i must not let myself down also
i believe that once i hav find myself a new aim in taekwondo
i wil be right back on track

as for my studies…
alot of assignments and tutorials are pilling up waiting for me to finish
and not to mention…mid term testsSs!!
aih…..hav to really start to study already
this is advance diploma i’m taking
cannot play play 1 leh…

kesimpulannya, i am not who i used to be
but there are 2 things that have not change in me:
i am STILL lazy
and
i am STILL alwaz late for class
aihhhhhhhhh
just when am i gonna start learn how to manage my time……….

wow..it’s a long longgggg blog i’ve typed
need to stop dy
good nite everybody